Friday, April 8, 2011

Not my good mommy moments {+ a winner!}

Blah.

That's exactly how I feel.

Very blah. Mixed with some feelings of guilt and annoyance and fatigue.

You see, right after I told you that my baby is so easygoing and always happy and smiley, we have a day in which she's not.

Right now, I'm a bad mom and have a spoiled baby that doesn't go to sleep on her own. Yes, I know I need to work on that, and that it's in everyone's best interest when baby can comfort and soothe herself to sleep. But with a 7 year old who also desperately needs her sleep, I don't feel like any method that involves any form of crying it out is an option.
Isabelle most definitely cries if you leave her to fall asleep while she's still sleepy. And I understand it's because she hasn't learned / I haven't taught her to fall asleep on her own. I realize I am responsible for that deficiency.
But seriously, though, how do I just let her cry at bedtime, knowing that her cries not only awaken Kaylee, but also cause her to feel serious distress because at 7 years old, she doesn't comprehend needing to let baby cry sometimes?

Anyone? Suggestions? Advice? Share your own stories (hopefully) of success?

Back to the blah part.
Yesterday was a bad day for me. Isabelle was behaving in very UN-Isabelley ways...very clingy, very needy, would not-no matter what-was not having it-fought hard against nap time. I literally spent FIVE hours yesterday laying with her on the bed, patting her back, cuddling her up, getting up and walking around, nursing, checking the diaper, etc etc etc. She did not want to engage in any of her normal playtime activities and tt was clear she was beyond exhaused (she has very obvious sleepy signs) but she just would not lay still and go to sleep.

And I was so frustrated.

I tried to tell myself to be more caring and compassionate and consider what may be causing this odd behavior (teething? not feeling well?) but more than anything I was just annoyed.

I value the few free hours I have while Isabelle sleeps. Even if all I do is catch up on chores and blog reading, they are my hours and I enjoy them. And I was annoyed that this time was being taken from me.

And right now, I'm just frustrated with myself that my reaction with Isabelle's untypical behavior is to be annoyed. But by the end of the day yesterday, I was just that - annoyed and very impatient. And I really dislike seeing those qualities in myself.

I'm really going to make a strong effort at having a better attitude today.

Starting with spreading some joy!

There were 35 entries for the Boddler Bites Food in a Flash cards and here's what random.org gave me:
Congratulations to Monica!
I really hope you and your kiddos enjoy the cards! Please send me an email at megandyanray at gmail dot com with your mailing information and I'll get them sent out to you :)

Do you have any happy thoughts to share?

19 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you had a rough time yesterday. I understand how you feel about wanting that naptime for your own "me time". Both of my boys gave up naps at an early age (12-18 months) and I was so sad that I couldn't have that time anymore.
    I'm sorry, I don't have any tips on how to get your kids to sleep without you helping them. I did that from the time mine were babies, so they were used to it and the few times they had trouble, I had to let them cry it out.
    I hope you find something that works out for you. :-)

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  2. Sorry love! It's ok to be annoyed sometimes so don't feel bad! There are so many awesome days do weight out the BLAH ones! <3

    and Congrats to Monica! <3

    xoXOxo
    Jenn @ Peas & Crayons

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  3. Oh don't be too hard on yourself! Everyone gets frustraited and annoyed from time to time. I can't be of much help with the cry it out method because the boys always had eachother in bed. (Yes I know lucky right?) but we did have separation anxiety moments that were terrible! If it makes you feel better I totally had a bad mommy moment yesterday too!!!! We (me and the boys) sat down to watch a movie and we all fell asleep, this wouldn't be so bad if we didn't "nap" for 2 hrs sleeping well past normal dinner and bed time routine times... YIKES! Love ya hun! she'll be back to normal as soon as she cuts those teeth I'm sure of it.

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  4. Hope she naps for you today!!

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  5. I totally understand. Having a 4 year old, I don't let Kyleigh cry it out either. Luckily, she goes to sleep pretty easy but when she is sick she has her moments. If I let her cry it out, then my oldest wakes up and tells me to give her a bottle like I don't know what I'm doing. Lol. Don't be too hard on yourself. We all have days like that. :)

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  6. You've pretty much described the way Faith acts before each new tooth. When in doubt, give some Tylenol :)

    I don't have a good suggestion for sleep because we tolerate crying as part of falling asleep (and no one but the dog minds). Ear plugs for your older daughter?

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  7. That actually sounds like one of my better days! Just kidding (but we've all had worse). Poor Isabelle and Poor Megan. We did the "cry it out" method, but it wasn't a big deal because they were all so little together. I suppose letting her cry it out in the day time and then comforting her at night wouldn't be consistent enough to do any good. I guess I'm not much help here. What good am I? :( Sorry.

    Hope she has a better day/night...oh, and you, too. :) Just be thankful in every moment regardless of the frustration because it truly could be something worse.

    Sophisticated Steps

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  8. 1) If it makes you feel better, my 5 week old has a stuffy nose and can't sleep when she's horizontal. So, she is currently napping on a giant stuffed elephant (photos to come on my blog later this week) because I wanted to get up and get some chocolate, which I couldn't do with her in my lap.

    2) Real happy thought, there are tulips I didn't plant blooming in my backyard. Two are currently in a vase on my kitchen table. They are bright red and happy.

    3) I just ATE chocolate, which is always happy.

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  9. Unfortunately I don't have a little one (although my best friend who's pregnant decided today that she is going to transport the baby from her uterus to mine so she doesn't have to buy new clothes), so I cannot offer advice. I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I hope it was a fluke and that tomorrow is much better. Hang in there!!

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  10. Oh we all have those days! It must have been going around yesterday, because I was the exact same way (except my child was a whiny screaming 22 month old!). Hang in there. I used the sleepeasy solution for carter and it was amazing for him. It's somewhat of a cry it out, but I was blessed to have minimal crying. I don't know if that was my child or the magic of the book. Good luck!

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  11. my solution??? get yourself a BLIZZARD and start fresh tomorrow! Every day is a new beginning :)

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  12. A blizzard sounds fabulous... ;)

    Here's my advice, not knowing your schedule at all {new reader!}, but going to try anyway: =p I would put the little one to bed an hour before the older {I just went back and read your post about the grandparents, so it looks like 8:30 is when you start her bedtime routine} -- so maybe try bedtime for the baby at 7:30?? Or earlier? And have the older play outside or far from her room so she isn't bothered by the crying. Tell her -- it's really something babies have to do for a little while. Until they realize sleep feels really good!

    She is at a tough age -- I thought my 18 month old was going to drop his nap, but stuck it out...and he's back to 3 hours in the afternoon. It's SOOOOO important to be well rested! And makes being a mommy so much better. =)

    OK -- that was way too long. Hope something I said will help. You need your "me" time. Definitely.

    Thanks for reading my blog too!!

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  13. Sorry you've had a rough day, but I hear every word you're saying! I know I've done my fair share of complaining on my blog about sleep issues...so just don't feel like you're alone.

    I wish I had an answer. It's so hard when you don't get much time for yourself to feel like you lose any of that time because of sleep issues.

    I hope you have a better day tomorrow!

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  14. i'm sorry it was a rough day :(

    i have those and i don't even have the excuse of a crying baby!

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  15. Aw, sooo excited!! THANKS!!! I sent you an email.

    Regarding sleep, I guess I'm going to go against the "popular vote" here... We have never let our children cry it out. It just seems inhumane and goes against every motherly (and fatherly) instinct I (my husband) possess. They are little and still learning. They are not old enough to knowingly manipulate. I nursed Gemma to sleep until she was almost two and still do so for Kolbe. When Gemma transferred to her big girl bed (at just shy of two) she weaned on her own and my hubby or I would lay with her until she was asleep. At 2yrs and change she started being OK with us leaving the room while she was still awake and going to sleep on her own. Yes, it took more time, more dedication and was not always convenient, but she is (essentially) a very good sleeper now and I feel like we did a lot to build her trust in us. She knew we were there for her if she needed us (and still are), whether that need was to nurse, to have a diaper changed, or just a snuggle. Babies crave that human contact or attachment, if you will. Independence is something that can't be forced on a child, they have to grow into it, and they do. At their own pace. No two children are the same, as I know you know. Gemma is quite the independent little gal now.

    We still co-sleep with Kolbe (usually from midnight -2am or so on) at almost 15 months, and again, while it isn't necessarily always convenient, it is what it is. I am quite sure that he will not still be sleeping in our bed when he is 15. Haha.

    But anyways, that is my two-cents on the topic. Good luck though...it's no fun when our little ones are unhappy!

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  16. Thanks for stopping by my blog!!! Hope you are having a better day today:)
    A new follower, looking forward to reading your post .

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  17. Awwww, I'm so so sorry that you had a rough day! Don't be so hard on yourself...we all get frustrated and annoyed! I hope that today was better!

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  18. Praying that today is a better one for Isabelle (and therefore you!)

    As I was reading about not disturbing Kaylee, all I could think about was her quote that you told me, "Now be nice to my little sister while I'm gone!" :)
    I can see why distressing Kaylee with Isabelle's crying would be distressing to you!!

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  19. Ugh - no fun. Its not totally the same but one of the worst nights in my stepmommyhood was the week Clayton got back from Guam last year. For the whole three months Clayton was gone, Aubrey's mother had let Aubrey sleep with her.... every. single. night. (Aubrey said they even started using her bed to start storing things since it wasn't being used! Please keep in mind Aubrey was 6 at this point.) We let it slide the first night Aubrey came in crawled in our bed, put her back to bed several times the second night, and the third made clear that coming in to our room was not acceptable (unless she's sick, scared, etc...) on a regular basis. She screamed/cried/what-have-you for hours. I've never been more miserable just listening to her but knowing if I went in to comfort her than we'd never win.

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