Thursday, August 18, 2011

A broken marriage

(I received several emails and messages from my blog friends, just out of the blue, saying they've been thinking about me, wondering if I'm okay, just wanting to check in and say hi. My blogging has been very sparse this summer, with several periods of inactivity, but this is the first occasion I've gotten concerned messages. It's interesting that that concern would occur now, at a time when it is warranted.)

I recently discovered that my husband has been engaged in a full-blown affair, for nearly the entire duration of our marriage. For all of the 16 months that we've been married, he has been in a relationship with another woman; a relationship that consisted of sex, and dates, and time together, and daily contact.

This discovery was devastating. It is still devastating. This is very much one of those situations that you hear about, and believe would never and could never happen to you. At the very least, I feel violated and betrayed by the one person that vowed to love me. I am angry, disgusted, sad, and a million other emotions I cannot name. I feel like my entire marriage has been a lie, and I am left with broken pieces, trying to figure out if they can be mended together, or if they are shattered beyond recognition.

I am trying so hard to trust in my Lord, knowing that "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). Right now, I don't have a clear picture of God's purpose for my life, but I will "trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5).

I have several products that I need to review and giveaway, so I will not be entirely absent from my blog. You can expect to see those posts soon. If I feel that blogging would be beneficial or therapeutic, I will do so, and if I feel my world is far too depressing, then I will not.

If you feel the inclination to send a prayer my way, know that I appreciate it, and that your kindness means a lot to me.


(I am sharing this information not out of a desire for sympathy, judgement, attention, or condemnation. I am writing it because it is me, and my life, and I am far too good at keeping all my feelings locked up inside instead of dealing with them in a healthier manner. This post was more for me than it is for you.)

41 comments:

  1. No one deserves that. I'm so sorry you are going through it. I will definitely keep you in my prayers and hope you are able to heal in time.

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  2. Megan, I'm so, so sorry. You're in my thoughts and prayers, and I wish nothing but the best for you and your sweet girls.

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  3. Sending prayers your way...I am so sorry about what happen and hope you will be able to find comfort and peace in your life.

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  4. I've been thinking about you a lot lately and wondering how you're doing. I'm so sorry you're going through that. I'm going to be praying for you daily.

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  5. you and your girls will be in my prayers.

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  6. I am so so sorry. You and your girls will be in my prayers.

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  7. Your pain and emotion are evident in your words. Take care of you and your girls and take your time...what to do and how to feel becomes clearer with time.

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  8. Oh Megan, my heart is breaking for you! Many, many prayers for you and your sweet girls. I cannot imagine what you are going to through, and I wish there was something I could do or say to help.

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  9. Sending you hugs...digitally. I hope things work themselves out for you. I'm so sorry to hear about this. No one deserves to be treated this way.

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  10. I've been worried about you ever since I saw your post about needing a job on Facebook! I'm so sad to hear this news. The same thing happened to my mom, but after 32 years of marriage, so I have an idea of how devastating this kind of discovery can be.

    I will be keeping you and your girls in my thoughts and prayers!

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  11. Oh Megan I'm so sorry to hear that! I was wondering where you were lately...I had no idea....I am sending prayers your way for you and your two precious little girls.

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  12. Megan. Just horrible. Disgraceful. Take time to grieve, be mad, write and let out your feelings. Peace and direction will follow. You already have grace, I can tell from your eloquent post under such circumstances.
    xx

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  13. Unfortunately I know exactly what you are going through! All I can say is remember how much God loves you! He loves you more than any one on this earth can ever even think! One of the things that really helped me was to set boundaries with my husband and keep them. I didn't give ultimatums and I didn't sit around waiting for him to make up his mind. God is good and our marriage is healing! Also know that reconciliation may not be for you. No guilt!!!! Love yourself and allow God to heal you.

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  14. oh my gosh, I'm speechless. I am so sorry Megan. You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. It will be very hard to believe this now, but the pain will lessen every day eventually. UGH! This breaks my heart. XOXOX

    Linds

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  15. oh the anger that boils up inside me when i read this!!!!! my heart is broken for you, i'm so, so, so sad and so sorry. All relationships have their tough times but there is never a reason to cheat!!! i pray that he is on his KNEES begging you (and GOD) to forgive him and I pray that you have the strength and wisdom to do what is best for you, your marriage, and your babies. keeping you in prayer - blogging is a WONDERFUL way to vent and if you're like me then hopefully writing will help you find some clarity in the situation!!!

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  16. Megan, I am SO sorry. I am hurting for you. I'm praying that God will pour his grace over you to get through this time of terrible hurt, anger, and sadness. Sending you hugs!

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  17. I'm sorry Megan, that is awful! Needless to say you do not deserve that kind of treatment. I wish you strength and send you love as you deal with such a difficult time. Hugs!!

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  18. Megan, I cant Imagine how you are feeling, but My Heart is breaking for you, Im so sorry and Im saying lots of prayers for healing. <3

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  19. I know I already told you this but let me know if you need anything. I'm definitely keeping you in my thoughts.

    On a lighter note - I told my husband last night when I saw your new pics that your husband was a complete moronic idiot. Seriously? You had a baby only about a year ago? Yep.... sticking with he's a moronic idiot....

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  20. Hugs and tears for you from Ohio. I feel so guilty complaining about my husband for going on a fishing trip now. I can't imagine the emotions running through you. Cry, scream, and do what you need to do to stay strong for your beautiful girls. Praying for your family.

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  21. Megan-
    Sending positive thoughts your way (for you and your children). I am so sorry that you have to go through this. It is important to surround yourself with love and support right now. Stay Strong! XOXO

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  22. Oh my gosh! I hate to hear this news...You will definitely be in my prayers. Stay strong in your faith and God will carry you through this mess.

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  23. oh megan. i am so terribly sorry to hear this. you are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. sending so many positive feelings/thoughts/etc your way!

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  24. my heart is absolutely broken for you. I cannot even begin to express how sorry I am to hear that something like this would happen to you and your beautiful daughters. keep trusting in HIM. The Lord is the ONLY one who will never disappoint us. Rest in the COMFORT that He will never leave you, NOR forsake you. He is enough to sustain us. Praying for you, sweet sister.

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  25. So very heartbroken for you. Hugs and prayers from Virginia.

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  26. Thinking of you and your beautiful girls! Take care of yourself and of them. We are always here if you need us or want to vent!
    xo

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  27. You already know you have lots of prayers from me. I hope we get to talk soon.
    Keep clinging to those verses. Love you.

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  28. so sorry for you and your girls :-(

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  29. Just stopped to check in, as I have been lacking this Summer as well. I am so sad for you and the girls; please know that I am sending prayers and positive energy to you. Thinking of you! ~Anne

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  30. I am so sorry to hear that. I know you are a strong woman and with the Lord behind you, you will be able to recover from this. I will be praying for you and thinking of you. And if you ever need to talk please don't hesitate to get in touch with me.

    xo,

    ashley

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  31. I'm so sorry Megan. I cannot even imagine what you are going through. Whenever I'm going through a difficult time I just try to remind myself that "this too shall pass". I wish you and your two beautiful girls the best, because you deserve it!

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  32. Oh my gosh, Megan. I am so sad for you. I don't really even know what to say. Just keep the girls close and know that they truly love you with all of their hearts. You also have people here who read your blog often, even if they are frequently silent (guilty!). We will all be sending positive thoughts your way.

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  33. My thoughts and prayers are with you each and every day! I hope that in all of this you find some clairty and confidence to do what you feel is the right thing to be done.
    You deserve all the happiness in the world!!
    ~Beth

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  34. Oh my gosh, Megan, I am SO sorry that this has happened. : ( I honestly can't even being to imagine how devastated and broken you must feel. I'm praying for you...for peace, comfort, and strength. Let me know if you ever need to talk. Cling to the Lord, He's the only one who never lets us down!

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  35. I just came across your blog and my heart is broken for you. But definitely out of despair...God will do great things! Thanks for sharing and i hope you get the support that you need from your blogging friends and your friends at home.

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  36. I hated to read this! I am praying for you and your kiddos!

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  37. I am so so sorry. I am glad to hear you guys are seeing a counselor. I will keep you and your girls in my prayers!

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  38. Sending prayers!! Many hugs your way. I wish you the best!

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  39. Sooo sorry you are dealing with this. It may seem impossible, but with God all things truly possible! We are so weak on our own. But through our weakness his power is made perfect! Step aside and allow God to do the healing! I'll be praying for your marriage & that you can mother your girls the best way possible despite your circumstances!
    I recently wrote a post titled "I Will Rise" it has the song by Shawn McDonald... Claim it!

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  40. I acted so badly I am ashamed of myself. I never thought I would see the day where he would be fighting to get me back but that is just exactly what happened once I ordered a spell from Dr Agba, Furthermore our relationship is now on a more honest, firm and committed footing. Thanks so much Dr Agba. agbalaxxy@gmail.com is his email, if you need his help in restoring your relationship.

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